Tell me that I’m not on the shit… again
I’m so sick and tired of being in the state of what they call as “cloud nine” then came up wounded afterwards—again. Damn. I don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings. All I did was done and I don’t have a f*ckin time machine or a rewind button to undo or redo. Really, if I have to do it to be everybody’s friend, then why not? Man, why can’t people just say what they really feel? Why can’t they just spit it on my face to back off in their territory because they “poo-ed & pee-ed” on it?!? I’m a person who easily understands so they can shoo me off with no difficulty in no time. Just ask me straightforward and—bam! There goes the wish in a snap of a finger. That would also give me easy time to lick my wounds then “move on” and not just to waste my life in vain.
It’s Sunday and I just remembered the scripture lesson in the service this morning and it was all about complains, complaints and complainers.
(I have a thing for blogging but I got a feeling that it’s just one way of advertising one’s stupidity. And oh boy, I am. Thank God I’m not in THAT reality show. I'm just being human)
Just like heaven...
Oh well. Another sem jungle on my GPS. I don't know if I can tread on the path with righteousness and the "righteous" any longer. Just this and everything will be written en blanc. I can't help but laugh on what I've been through with the Xavier walls. Maybe I'm just anxious to go out or whatever.
I need someone. Or something. I can't give up. Not at this time. I need-- some inspiration. God help me but I do. I hate to see myself in front of the mirror ten years from now and ask why I didn't do things. Certain things like getting a tattoo or join a rock band. And hell, I know that things which are difficult to do are worth dying for. But still there are priorities. Believe me, they are hard to get them in line like ducks on the road.
I'm like in a pressure cooker right now. The pressure is too hot and too painful to handle. But I still have hope and more likely faith or even most--love.
